Yes. I got a new online journal. But it's so much better!! It's a Xanga journal! The link is below! I'll try to update this one too, but what's the point when I've got that one?! Lmao I'll try and stick with this Xanga journal for more than a month.
http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=FallingxFromxGrace
It hasn't really been a good day...I miss Laura. I don't know what the hell is going on with her anymore and...grrr.
Family's visiting today and it's pissing me the fuck off. I like being alone..or having my own space. Melody and Aunt Carol have gotten into a fight and it just....gah! I don't know damnit. I just don't know who to go to...Brian first popped into head...like I automatically started walking out of my house to go to his...but I stopped and just went back inside. I don't want to make the same mistake twice. It wouldn't be worth it. I'm deadly tired too. I keep getting dizzy every few minutes and I don't know why.
And Melody keeps talking to me. I feel like going to bed lmfao...it's that torturing.
Hey Brandon...wanna play frottage with me?
Roflmfao oh God that was great. I was laughing. I love saying that now. It's almost like Laurne and wanting to talk about sex.
Much love
So yes. According to the title of this update...I was finally able to watch Thirteen!!! OMFG IT'S THE BEST MOVIE I LOVED EVERY PART! I'm pissed off that Evie would stab Tracy in the back by saying everything she did was learned from her. That's total bullshit. Oh and then I started crying. The end was great but made me cry. When Tracey's mom pulled back the arm of her shirt to show her scars. Wow. I'm gonna hafta watch it again soon.
So yea...leaving messages on Laurne and Kayla's phones are great. I love it lmfao. Laurne's laugh is fucking adorable, and the way Kayla talkes is adorable. Awwww. The powdered toast man is coming to get me and I'm hiding from eem! Teehee!
Was finally able to submit my thing for the AS yearbook! Woot!
Something's wrong with Laura and she won't tell me. I've been kinda holding back from her for some reason. I think I'm just totally distracted with mIRC and shit like that lmao. Being oblivious to things when I shouldn't be. Gotta make a mental note to see what's going on with her.
I was going to post a poem but it won't post on here for some reason.
Much love
Today was eventful.
I went in early to school because my sister had to go in early. I spent morning exam in Mrs. Dowd's room with Anna, Justin, Dylan, and Nicole. Poor Justin slammed his head into the steel staircase and thought Anna had thrown a chair at him. It was great. I'm laughing just typing it out.
After that I had my French exam. I think I passed it. It wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be and I did great on the speaking part. So then I came home lol. We're moving into the house next door towards the end of July. Funny isn't it? lol. But it's bigger and I'll be getting the basement.
Work was....not cool. Not cool at all. I don't like birthday kisses when it's from someone I don't like. Eh. It doesn't matter.
Erfy's poetry blows me away. It seriously does. I'm hooked on it. I've printed out all the ones she's posted. I like to reread them. That's for you Erfy and don't you dare argue!
Ok so now I'm 17. Well..not officially. I will be officially 17 at 11:56am. That's when I was born. Anyways..have a look at what I wrote after my exam. I had some time left.
The Truth Within A Sentence
I can get over you.
Get over you; Can I?
I am fine without you.
Am I fine without you?
I didn't care for you anyways.
Anyways, didn't I care for you?
You're not hurting me, you're only hurting yourself.
You're hurting only me, you're not hurting yourself.
Forget you! I don't miss you.
And you don't forget, I miss you.
Lmfao It's so....ehhy. But yea lol. Short little thing from me.
Much love
THERE ERFY! I UPDATED!
Writing poetry again
Blood Stained Memories
It's todays tears,
that will feed tomorrow's dreams.
Yeah, it's yesterday's pain,
that makes us stronger once again.
It's morning sunshine,
that reminds us of the flames.
Yeah, those same flames,
that leave our dreams in dust.
You were the blood in my veins,
but when you pulled out my heart,
like a river you flowed out of me,
and left me stained in my lifes water.
When you give your heart, the only way you get it back is in pieces.
When you fall in love you have everything to lose.
You shattered my soul and left it's jagged edges to cut my insides.
All I'm left with now are blood stained memories.
*
Crimson Sky, Never Goodbye
I don't want to follow in your footsteps.
I don't need to breathe the air you breathe.
I don't want to stare the color from your iris,
to fall into the dark endless void of your eyes.
I don't want to walk in your shadow,
and I don't need to live in your light.
I don't want to be born in your dreams,
to live inside your nightmares,
and die in your mind.
Maybe I'm just an insignificant life form,
just a meager, incomplete little girl...
bounded by your hypnotizing stare,
imprisoned by your counterfeit charm.
Prayers of love, laced with poison.
Lips of deceit, my pseudo goodnight kiss from you.
Promises of faith, drowned in paraffin.
Words of allure, my only salvation from the flames.
Crimson Sky, never goodbye.
Stole this from Kayla's journal lmfao I'm bored and it looks fun.
What is your full name:: Megan Irene
Spell your first name backwards:: nagem
Date of birth:: June 15, 1987
Male or female:: female
Astrological sign:: Gemini
Nicknames:: meg, meggy, mommy (lol Carly) mooface(brandon lmao) CCG(I'm so not going to say what that means lmfao)
Occupation:: Student and waitress
Height:: 5'1
Weight:: ehhh
Hair color:: blonde and black
Eye color:: blue
Where were you born:: Alaska
Where do you reside now:: Virginia
Age:: 16 soon to be 17
Screen names:: SweetBrokenDream
E-mail addy:: hehe
What does your screen name stand for:: Uhhh Even though you can have a sweet dream, it can still get broken...something like that.
Pets:: two gerbils (Stuart Little and Buster) two cats (Ricky and Tucker) and two dogs (Lucky and Beau)
Number of candles you blew out on your last birthday cake:: 16
Piercings:: two in each ear
Tattoo's:: nope..but I want to get one
Shoe size:: 7
Righty or lefty:: righty
Wearing:: my jammies!
Hearing:: it's quiet
Feeling:: tired and hungry
Eating/drinking:: About to eat some ice cream!
Guys/Girls/Love/Kissing/And Other Stuff
Have you ever been in love:: No
How many people have you said:: I don't get it
How many people have you been in REAL love with:: zero
How many people have you kissed:: lol! we're supposed to keep count? what if you can't count that high? lmao
Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex:: yep
How many people have you dated:: a few
What do you look for in a guy/girl:: personality, sense of humor, caring, oh and it helps if they're at least cute lol
What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex:: Eyes
What type of guy/girl do you usually go for:: someone who makes me laugh a lot lol..and we all know how hard that is /sarcasm
Do you have a crush right now:: yep
If so who is it::
Do you believe in love at first sight:: Yup
Do you remember your first love:: Not love..crush is more like it..yes I do.
Who is the first person you kissed:: His name was David
Do you believe in fate:: yep
Do you believe in soul mates:: yep
If so do you believe you'll ever find yours:: I hope I do
Family Stuff
How many siblings do you have:: 4
What are your siblings names:: Nichole, Brianna, Danny, and Eric
What are your parents names:: Barry and Patti
How many siblings does your mother have:: 2...used to have 3 but Uncle Eddie died when he was 21 I think.
How many siblings does your father have:: 2
Where are your parents from:: My dad's from California and my mom is from Rhode Island
Is your family close:: I don't get this question. It can be taken a lot of ways.
Does your family get together for holidays:: Yep
Do you have a drunk uncle:: WEIRD! I DO! HIS NAME IS UCLE BILLY!
Any medical problems run through your family:: Of course
Does someone in your family wear a toupee:: Holy not that I know of
Do you have any nieces or nephews:: Uhhh
Are your parents divorced:: yep
Do you have step parents:: technically yes..but since he adopted us to have his last name...no
Has your family ever disowned another member of your family:: LMAO no pmsl
Did some of your family come to America from another country:: I have no clue
Music Stuff
What song do you swear was written about you or your life:: That's really a dumb question because there's so many...One that pops into my head at the moment is Unforgiven by Fefe Dobson. Reminds me of my biological dad because the whole song is true.
What's the most embarrassing cd you own:: Good Charlotte
What's the best cd you own:: Avril Lavigne "UMS" Lostprophets "Start Something" AFI "Sing The Sorrow" Britney Spears "In The Zone" Goo Goo Dolls "Dizzy Up The Girl" Three Days Grace, Fefe Dobson, Story Of The Year "Page Avenue" Dashboard Confessional "A Mark A Mission A Brand A Scar" and a fuckload more
What song do you absolutely hate:: there's so many
Do you sing in the shower:: lol yes
What song reminds you of that special someone:: Fall To Pieces // Avril Lavigne
Okay, I Name An Artist And You Give A Lyric From Any One Of Their Songs!
Pink:: Why was I the last to know that you weren't coming to my show you coulda called up to say good luck you couldna called me back you stupid fuck
Aerosmith:: just push play
Madonna:: like a virgin...touched for the very first time! lmfao
Korn:: i don't listen to vegatables
Backstreet Boys:: all you people can't you see can't you see how your love's affecting our reality every time we're down you can make it right and that makes you larger than life
The Beatles:: I wanna hold your hand...
J.Lo:: Used to have a little now I have a lot, no matter where I go, I know where I came from...
*Nsync:: Your love is like a river Peaceful and deep Your soul is like a secret That I could never keep
Limp Bizkit:: Yeah This time I'm 'a let it all come out This time I'm 'a stand up and shout I'm 'a do things my way It's my way My way, or the highway
Stacie Orrico:: Well I'll be there when you call me in the middle of the night well I'll keep the rain from falling down into your eyes, I promise, I promise I promise I will
Creed:: Hello my friend we meet again It’s been a while where should we begin…feels like forever Within my heart are memories Of perfect love that you gave to me I remember
Britney Spears:: Media over here Coming through like a world premiere Trenchcoat and my underwear Let's go with this freak show
Good Charlotte:: Hold on if you feel like letting go
Christina Aguilera:: young girl don't cry i'll be right here when your world starts to fall
Eminem:: guess who's back guess who's back guess who's back
Kelly Clarkson:: some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this
Kelly Osbourne:: Papa don't preach, I'm in trouble deep...
Mandy Moore:: I wanna be with you if only for a night to be the one who's in your arms and hold you tight
Eve:: Drop ya glasses, shake ya asses, face screwed up like you having hot flashes omfg i love that song
Aaliyah:: Dust yourself off and try again..
Nelly:: I'm going down down baby your street in a range rover...
Alicia Keys:: I keep on fallin' in and out of love with you
Incubus:: I wish you were here...
Favorites
Color:: black/red/pink
Food:: pizza
Song:: holy shit please don't ask me that I can't name them all
Show:: The Real World!
School subject:: English
Band/singer/artist:: Avril Lavigne, Goo Goo Dolls, Yellowcard, Green Day, Dashboard Confessional, Story of the Year, Sugarcult, AFI, Lostprophets, Pink, The Rasmus, Fefe Dobson, REM, Blink 182, Sum-41, Three Days Grace, Simple Plan, Pearl Jam, Our Lady Peace, GOB, All-American Rejects, The Used, Link Park, Evanescence, NOFX, INXS, Less Than Jake, Something Corporate, Finch, Alkaline Trio, Brand New, Matchbook Romance, New Found Glory, Thursday, Anti-Flag, Autopilot Off, Avenged Sevenfold, Smile Empty Soul, shall I continue?
Animal:: horse
Outfit:: *hums theme to mission impossible*
Radio station:: 99.3 or hot 99.5
Movie:: Mean Girls
Pair of shoes:: my cons!
Cartoon:: none lol
Actor:: Ashton Kutcher, Jim Carey
Actress:: Sandra Bullock, Brittany Murphy
Potato chip:: Doritos!
Drink:: As Kayla said...I'm taking this one as alcohol...tequila, vodka, and bacardi silver..that's all i can think of at the moment...it's near 2 in the morning
Soda:: cherry coke
Holiday:: Christmas!
Perfume/cologne:: Adidas...Gucci Rush...
Pizza topping:: cheese
Jello flavor:: EWWWWW I HATE JELLO
Lunch meat:: turkey!
Card Game:: Poker...Canasta..I'm real good in that.
Video game:: Resident Evil, Tony Hawk
Website:: AS!
Book:: Gossip Girls and The A-List books
Computer game:: uhhhh
Number:: 6
Cereal:: Cinnamon Toast Crunch!
Comedian:: it doesn't take much to send me in fits of laughter.
Dessert:: chocolate ice cream
Disney character:: I don't know lmao
Clothing store:: Hot Topic, Pac Sun...other stores lmfao
Past time:: right
Teacher:: Mrs. Elder! Awww I was her favorite student
Childhood toy:: I had a Jasmine barbie doll! Aww it was the best
Candy bar:: Twix and Kit Kat
Magazine:: Teen People...but it's not my favorite
Salad dressing:: Ranch
Thing to do on the weekend:: sleep
Hot drink:: hot chocolate!
Season:: fall
Sport to watch:: Hockey and baseball
Person to talk to online:: Bebe, Rush, Kayla, Carly, Whit, Laura, Brandon, Crys, Chris, Meli, Laurne and a shitload more.
Your Bedroom/Sleeping Habits
What color are your sheets:: pink, blue and green with horses on it lol
What color are your bedroom walls:: white
Do you have posters on your wall:: tons
If so of what:: people
Do you have a tv in your bedroom:: now i do yes!
How many pillows are on your bed:: 4
What do you normally sleep in?:: nothing
Describe your favorite pair of pajamas:: well..if i absolutely have to sleep in something...then it's a tank top and boxers
What size bed do you have:: it's a full
Do you have a waterbed/bunkbed/daybed:: right now..it's a lofted bed..i'm getting a regular one in july..finally
Do you have your own phone line in your bedroom:: *sigh* no
Describe the last nightmare you had:: I don't normally have dreams lmao and when I do I don't remember them
Do you sleep with stuffed animals:: Only one and that's the one Laura gave me to me
How many people can comfortably sleep comfortably in your bed:: Me since it's lofted lmao...but once I get my regular bed...teehee!
Any unusual sleeping positions:: I sleep
Do you have to share your bedroom with a sibling:: Thank fucking God no
Do you snore:: No
How about drool:: Sometimes and it's so annoying
Do you have an alarm clock in your room:: Yea but I don't use it lmao
What color is the carpet in your room:: Whiteish grayish
What's under your bed:: My computer...Remember it's a lofted bed and underneath is a desk...lol
What Is Your Opinion Of The Following
Eminem:: He's hot
Virgins:: Just haven't found the one yet
God:: Needs to prove himself
The Osbournes:: Get a fucking grip
Reality TV:: It's like wanting to rip your eyes out
J.Lo:: Her hobby should be getting married
Religion:: Whatever pops your tart
Emo music:: Nice to listen to when you're feeling blue
Valentine's Day:: So fucking pointless!
Christina Aguilera's comeback:: What comeback?
Homosexuals:: What about them?
Abortion:: Definitely a no-no
Inter-racial relationships:: Don't care.
Murder:: can't be forgiven
Death:: Seems scary at times
Obesity:: Hard question
Pre-marital sex:: As long as you're using protection
Terrorism:: no comment
Pornography:: LMAO
Fortune Tellers:: Can burn in hell for all I care
Threesomes:: Whit lmfao
Prostitution:: Stupid
Politics:: Not evan gonna go there.
Country music:: Dixie Chicks and Garth Brooks..otherwise no
George W. Bush:: G DUBBYA...he can burn in hell too
Cloning:: Uncalled for.
Britney's boobs:: I wonder how much she spent on them
What do YOU think?
Gas prices in America:: SO FUCKING GAY! It's ridiculous how much it costs now.
Have You Ever...
Mooned anyone:: Of course lol
Been on a diet:: Yea
Been to a foreign country:: No
Broken a bone:: Nope
Swallowed a tooth/cap/filling:: No
Sworn at a teacher:: Lmao yes!
Got in a fight:: Plenty of times
Dated a teacher:: Ew no.
Laughed so hard you peed your pants:: It's gotten to the point where I need to watch out lmao.
Thought about killing your enemy:: Yea
Gone skinny dipping:: Yep
Told a little white lie:: Lol oh yea
Told a secret you swore not to tell:: Yep..then I felt all guilty
Stolen anything:: Roflmfao yes
Misused a swear word and it sounded absolutely stupid:: That happens quite a lot to me
Been on TV:: Yup
Been on the radio:: Ya!
Been in a mosh pit:: Lol yah!
Been to a concert:: Yes
Dated one of your best friends:: nope
Loved someone so much it makes you cry::
Deceived somebody close to you::: Eh
Broken the law:: lmfao oh ya
Been to a rodeo:: no..my parents have
Been on a talk show:: uh no
Been on a game show:: nope
Been on an airplane:: yes
Got to ride on a firetruck:: Aww yes!! When I was in kindergarten! I got to sit up in the front seat on my teachers lap and ring the bell...while everyone else had to sit in the back!
Came close to dying:: fuck yes
Cheated on a bf/gf:: no
Gave someone a piggy back ride:: lmao yea
Terrorized a babysitter:: oh gosh yes
Made a mud pie:: no
Had a dream that you're falling off a cliff:: yep
Snuck out of the house at night:: lots of times
Been so drunk you don't remember your name:: yea lmfao that was great
Had an eating disorder:: not really
Felt like you didn't belong:: of course
Felt like the 3rd wheel:: yea
Smoked:: no
Done drugs:: no
Been arrested:: no
Had your tonsils removed:: lol nope
Gone to camp:: no!
Won a bet:: ya! i love winning bets
Written a love letter:: *sigh* unfortunately no
Gone out of your way to be with the one you love:: aww no
Written a love poem:: yes
Kissed in the rain:: awwwww no but I wanna!
Slow danced with someone you love:: nuh huh
Participated in an orgy:: ROFLMFAO!!!! not yet lmao
Faked an orgasm:: yea...As Kayla said...truth or dare..lmao i love that game
Stolen a kiss:: no! that's mean!
Asked a friend for relationship advice:: yea
Had a friend steal your bf/gf:: no
Watched the sunset/rise with someone you love:: hmph no
Gotten a speeding ticket:: damnit no
Done jail time:: NO
Had to wear a uniform to work:: i do have to wear a uniform to work
Won a trophy:: yep
Thrown up in public:: Does parties count?
Bowled a perfect game:: Hell no
Failed/got held back:: yea...3rd grade when I was in a private catholic school. it sucked
Got perfect attendance in grade school:: roflmfao no
Roasted pumpkin seeds:: nope
Taken ballet/karate lessons:: I always wanted to take ballet when I was a little girl but I didn't get a chance to
Attempted suicide:: yea
Cut yourself:: yep
Childhood Stuff
Did you play with Barbies/G.I. Joes:: Aww ya lol
Did you own Treasure Trolls: OMG YES!
Did you watch Beverly Hills 90210:: Lmao no
Did you play Simon Says:: Yep
Did you watch Fraggle Rock:: No..I hated that show.
Did you wet the bed:: Nope. I was perfect like that.
Did you believe there were monsters in your closet or under your bed:: Yep!
Did you wear the underwear with the days of the week on them:: lol Ya!
Were you shy:: I was very shy...I don't know why happened!
Were you spoiled:: No
Were you abused:: Emotionally yes.
Did you go to the circus:: Once. Never again though. Those poor animals.
Did you go to the zoo:: Yea
Were you in a car accident:: Yep
Did you build snowmen:: Ya
Did you cry when you scraped your knee:: Of course
Were your older cousins mean to you:: No
Did you think slinkies were cool:: Lol ya it used to entertain me for hours
Did you think the Ninja Turtles really lived in the sewer:: Those turtles were great.
Were you afraid of the dark:: Yea
Did you have slumber parties:: Sometimes
Did you have New Kids on the Block sheets, pillows, pajamas, sleeping bag? Ew no.
Did you tease your hair out like Tiffany:: huh?
Did you believe in the Easter Bunny/Santa Claus/ and the Tooth Fairy:: yeah!
Randomness
Do you believe in aliens:: We can't be the only ones in this universe. It's too big to be alone.
Name three things that are next to your computer:: clock, money, perfume.
Do you have any hidden talents:: lmao
Do you wish MTV would play music videos:: Fucking hell yes
If you were to star in a movie, what kind of movie would it be:: Maybe a comedy/drama
What would your movie star name be:: uhh i don't know
Do you play any sports:: i'm not on a team but i play sports
What's the scariest movie you've ever seen:: not sure
What is the best movie you've seen in the theater or rented recently:: Mean Girls!
What is the dumbest movie you've ever seen:: Fuck there's a lot
Do you drive:: yep
What is your dream car:: red mustang convertable or an eclipse
Do you think your good looking:: fuck no
Do others think you are good looking:: erm...yes...but i disagree
Would you ever sky dive:: holy no
Do you believe in Bigfoot:: omg no lmao
How many rooms do you have in your house:: 10
Are you afraid of roller coasters:: yes lol
Do you believe in God:: yeah
Do you believe in Satan:: yeah
Do you believe there is a heaven:: yeah
Do you believe there is a hell:: yeah
Do you own a pooltable:: grr no
Do you have a pool:: lol no
Do you have a dishwasher in your kitchen:: ya
Do you like chocolate:: love chocolate
Who/what is on your 2004 calendar:: picture of a wolf
How many U.S. states have you been to:: maybe 17 or 18
Ever wished on a shooting star:: YA!
Best Halloween costume you ever wore:: I was snow white one time! lol
Do you carry any weapons on you:: My nail filer roflmfao
What is your weakness:: I have a lot of weaknesses
Name something you can't get enough of:: Music
Describe yourself in 3 adjectives:: tired, hungry, bored
How many kids do you want to have:: 2
Future daughters names:: i'm not sure..i'm leaning towards leila
Future sons names:: andrew
What is your ideal way to die:: in my sleep
How do you release stress:: listen to music, play guitar, write
Do you consider yourself a trendy person:: uhhh
Are you an artisitic person:: yes
Are you a realistic person?:: i can be
Do you un-tie your shoes every time you take them off:: lmfao sometimes
Are you a strong person:: i think i am
Are you a strong willed person:: uhh yea
Who is the last person to e-mail you:: brandon
Who is the last person to IM you:: Whitney
Do you hate chain e-mails:: sometimes
Are you a deep sleeper:: i can be lmao
Are you a good story teller:: uh no
What do you believe is your best quality:: i'm a very sarcastic person
What is your greatest accomplishment:: ?
Do you like to burn candles or incense:: FIRE!
Do you have your own credit card:: nope
Let's say you win the lotto. What do you do with all that money?:: ROAD TRIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do you have a check book:: nope
Do you like your drivers licence:: ya
Do you tan easily:: i don't know
What color is your hair naturally:: it's still blonde lol it's only got a little bit of black in it
How many fillings do you have:: none
How many cavities did you have at your last dentist visit:: none
Worst feeling in the world?: being alone...heartache
Best feeling in the world:: feeling loved
Is the glass half empty or half full:: I'm gonna fucking kill the person who came up with this damn question.
Last thing you downloaded:: Your Stories, My Alibis // Matchbook Romance
Do you catch yourself using online terms in your real life?:: God yes
What do you think people think of you:: I could really care less what other people think about me
Are you a likeable person:: I think I am lol
Do you need therapy:: roflmfao
Do you take medication for a chemical imbalance:: huh? i'm manic depressive and i have to take shit for that..otherwise no lol
Do you love your bf/gf:: *gets out pitchfork*
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge would they call it FED UP:: OMFG THAT'S A GREAT IDEA! I LOVE IT!
When are you moving:: this is a freaky question...middle of july or at the beginning of august.
What's your favorite phrase:: whatthefuckever, gah, seriously, whatever i do what i want
My Stage
This stage is warped.
Stained with experience...
worn and broken.
Too many tragic acts played out.
It once was grand;
Innocence hiding cracks,
it never seemed to wear.
But the cracks were always there.
Actors playing their parts,
worthy of awards.
Their costumes hiding the reality
of lies which filled their words.
But I played my role as well...
In search of great reviews
until the day my mask was removed.
Now forced to face this hell
with reality at my feet.
The pain is all I feel.
The actors weren't acting.
The stories were all real.
This stage is damaged.
The actors...not so great.
They lie, hurt and cheat.
Guess they were acting just like me.
Wow. I've written a lot of poems lately! lol Dunno why. I have to work today...4:30-closing. Hrmph. Laurne is going to Kansas. I'm gonna miss that smartass but luckily she's coming back Sunday! yay!!! Lol At 2 I'm going to work to pick up my check and cash it. Today's my dad's birthday. He's getting old! Lmao. We're going to celebrate it tomorrow night since I've got work today and tomorrow 11:30am-4:30 *sigh*
Between This City Skyline
Your eyes followed me out the door,
and your voice rang out on the edge of town.
Between this city skyline
I watched the sun die,
swallowed up in the traffic.
I left to die with the sun,
to be forgotten.
To fade away into the evening dew,
into the shadows,
and into the wind.
^It's not much, but sometimes little things like that just need to be written down.
Like Burnt Paper
My world crumbled today
like burnt paper.
It had looked so solid--
frail, but like it could survive.
And then I watched
as, at my touch,
it lost its shape and form
and crumbled into cinders.
And I just stared,
as my charred world fell to ashes.
Lying on my bed
of burnt laughter and dream-cinders,
my face as ashen
as my surroundings,
I took a deep breath,
(the air was all smokey)
shakily stood up,
and dusted myself off.
I whispered
to the condemning silence,
"I'll be okay.
I can deal.
I can cope."
I begun to walk away
on unsteady feet
with bitten lip and shadowed eye
murmering again,
"I can cope."
And, do you know,
it was the oddest thing--
There wasn't a person in sight
yet I heard a soft voice say,
"No, you can't."
Startled, I replied
through a mouthful of bitter ash,
"Yes, I can!
I can always cope!"
The only response was a quiet laugh
and a hiss of, "No."
Angry now, I cried,
"I can cope!"
...but the only reply
was a laugh, almost kind.
With a sigh,
I combed the ash
of a cremated world
out of my hair,
and rinsed the ash out of my mouth
and wiped the ash off of my face.
The silence continued to condemn.
And as I rubbed the last cinder off,
I whispered hoarsely,
"Do you know,
I'm starting to get
just a little bit tired
of pretending that I can still cope."
I'm not sure what exactly made me write that, but I did and it's finished which is all that really matters, even if it sucks lol.
Much love
So you go and make it happen|Do your best just keep on laughin|I'm tellin you there's always a brand new day
~Who Knows // Avril Lavigne
That's the best song to listen to when you're feeling blue..I swear it is. It always cheers me up a little!
Things have been pretty rough this past week. Brandons off to find himself and I hope he does. I love him and I hope he comes back soon because it's just not the same. I've been writing poems like crazy lately and I think they're okay lol. Ummm yah. I took my English exam today and it was pretty easy. I passed it because he graded it after I turned it in. No school for me tomorrow. I do have to go in late on Monday though and then I'm completely finished! I'm so fucking scared about Algebra lmfao. I didn't turn in a couple last homework assignments and I already have a D in there. So I probably have to take summer school...Which will fucking suck major ass. God I hope I don't have to. I can't wait to get my report card in the mail. I'm so nervous about it. I really don't want to take summer school. That'll ruin everything. My whole summer will be gone.
*sigh* I worry too much. Anyways...here's a poem I wrote for someone:
Immortal Ink
You've written your way into my world.
Grown inside my words
Penned poems for me
Spun stories round me
Evoked epics in me
Told tales with me
Until and in
Immortal ink...
Your beautiful name.
Ya it's not much but whatever. It'll do I think. This whole Algebra thing has got me freaked out now. Hrmph. Not much else to write. I'll update later though.
I think this is appropriate lol..Only one person will get it...
Stay With Me
Once again yoru eyes make it hard to say goodbye
so I'll just keep driving.
Where do you wanna go?
It doesn't really matter as long as you are here with me.
with me
with me
Whoa, there's something in the air tonight
something that makes me feel alive and I say
Whoa, what were the words that you said to me
that made me feel so special now
Once again your eyes make it hard to ask you why
so I sit here knuckles tight
hands against the wheel
your head against the glass and you mean so much to me
to me
to me
Whoa, there's something in the air tonight
something that makes me feel alive and I say
Whoa, what were the words that you said to me
that made me feel so special now
whoa(stay with me)
whoa(stay with me)
whoa(stay with me)
whoa(stay)
stay with me
Cigarettes and open air, hand in hand
I said stay with me
cuz every star that I see is brighter than the last
so stay with me
Much love
I haven't been very good at keeping this lol. I've been busy with my weedweb one. I'm still trying to convert people over there to bloggism. I've got Crys blogged...now onto Kayla, Carly, Laura, Brandon, Meli, Chris...and other people who I forget...Sorry! Lol. Anyways, if you want to know what's happened today...go read it over there because I don't feel like rewriting it.
